wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There r osticjed everywhere
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
