You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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