Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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