My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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