I CAN MOONWALK!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
