we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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