"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
