Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
