worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
