What did we do last night that was yellow?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
