Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wish you could order shots online.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
