my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
