It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
