I must be too annoying 4 u.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
