In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
