Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
