I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
