My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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