ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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