wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We need to get me chipped asap
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
