Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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