She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
