He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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