Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Green mimosas i think yes
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
