its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
