let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
