My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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