Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
