it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
