the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
