Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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