1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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