Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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