SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The Olympian is in my bed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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