she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Still dying that you shit outside
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
