Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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