Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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