woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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