i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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