Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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