I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
