I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
