when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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