did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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