Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
