He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
