i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
