Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
