belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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