wanna go halves on a baby?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
