I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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