Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
