so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
there is puke in my bra ... again
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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